book summary of ” The Five-Second Rule ” by Mel Robbins
The five-second rule
This book ( The five-second rule ) talks about one of the reasons we run away from good and unique opportunities that make many of us carefree about our dreams. In the meantime, we waste our precious lives waiting endlessly for the right time. In this article from AliKavyani [dot] com we go through a book that has been written specifically on this subject. The book by Melanie Robbins, an American motivational presenter, author, and speaker utilizes real-life examples to provide ways to avoid unnecessary procrastination.
The five-second rule is a simple tool that changes your behavior
For some time now, in Mel Robbins mornings, there was no news of a smile or the joy of starting a new day. Since, she was unemployed and spent her days and nights with alcohol. On the other hand, in order to face less of her useless daily routine, she was accustomed to turning off the alarm clock and going back to sleep. Tick, tick, tick! It was six o’clock in the morning, and as usual, Mel Robbins had to wake up. However, this morning was different from the others, as instead of turning off the clock, Mel started her day with a countdown from five to one.
This simple act caused him to forget her worries and instead of giving in to demands that only sought momentary satisfaction, she turned her attention to what he had to do. Robbins used the rule to exercise regularly and encourage himself to get out of the house. Every time she was faced with a vain expectation, she started counting and challenging herself. This is the same rule of five seconds; a simple task that has a real impact on your life. By doing this consistently, you too, like me — the author of the book says- can break the harmful cycles around you and develop new and better habits. This tool is quite useful if you are one of those people who wait without any action for inspiration to come down from you and reach its peak.
Where did the five second rule come from ?
In 1954, a psychologist named Julian Rutter coined a concept called the Center of Control. This concept points to the idea that forces outside of us control our lives, saying, “People who feel they have more control over their lives solve their problems more easily and efficiently than other ones.” The advice given by many people is that we should wait for opportunities and take action as soon as we see them. Yet the better suggestion is to take control of your destiny and create opportunities yourself. I call this “pushing,” and I think the five-second rule is what pushing most of us need in life.
Five reverse seconds that activate your inner courage
One cold December night in 1955, Rosa Parks, sitting on a city bus, refused to get up and leave her seat to a white man. This simple protest turned into a historic moment and a symbol of great courage in the struggle for civil rights, which shows us that we do not always have to do great things to spark great change. This is the philosophy behind the five-second rule. Counting down from five to one, like a magic word, does not suddenly change your life. But it can also put pressure on you to become more courageous in acting. Rosa Parks’s move led to another small decision that changed the course of history. Four days after Rosa Parks was arrested, people boycotted racist buses and called on the 26-year-old preacher to speak out. The preacher later wrote, “Everything happened so fast that I did not have a chance to think about it. Perhaps if I could have thought, I would never have done so.”
The young preacher was named Martin Luther King Jr. Parks and King did not think of themselves as brave in their daily lives, and their instincts did not dictate that they fight injustice. However, they did. They both faced a moment when their instincts, beliefs and goals met and they felt the power of pressure. Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. Nevertheless, the five-second rule can give us enough time to move in a direction through which we can open the door to new life opportunities. There is no reason to think that prominent people in history have been different from you. Rosa Parks was a shy, introverted woman, and Dr. King struggled with self-doubt. Perhaps their greatest effort was to quell these inner fears and muster the pure courage to act. You can do this if you want.
Stop waiting, pursue your dreams
If you want your co-workers to change their minds about you, you need to raise your hand and say what you think during the business meeting. If you want to make someone’s day enjoyable, all you have to do is spend a moment praising him. But most of us do not do that. That is because we are stuck in an eternal expectation of the right moment. Remember, even the most talented people need to push to get on the right track.
Let me give you two examples. Apple co-founder Steve Waznik in 1977 was full of skepticism. He and Steve Jobs were offered to start their own specialized business. Waznik wanted to hold his hand for a while as he was afraid of leaving the job that was his source of income. Finally, his friends convinced him, and now you and I see the result of that persuasion with our own eyes. AL James, author of the “Fifty Shades of Gray” trilogy, did not contract with any publisher before writing this very popular book. She was a mother who worked outside the home, yet the fire of passion inside her created a special opportunity for herself to become a publisher-author for the book he wrote in his spare time. The book sold one million copies in just four days. But if James had not taken the initiative, this would never have happened.
Instead of controlling your emotions, control your actions
For many people, professional athletes are very inspiring; It really is. These athletes show us what we can not do if we put our body and mind under intense training and exercise! Some athletes seem to be superhuman professionals. In reality, However, their ability to transcend the physical limitations that exist in most human beings is due to a simple characteristic. Although these athletes sometimes feel very tired to keep going, they can get rid of those feelings and continue running, swimming or cycling. Athletes know that these feelings are just indoctrination, and sometimes ignoring them is the best way; Especially if you are trying to achieve a specific goal. This is a good lesson that we must accept wholeheartedly. Because most of us have our emotions in mind when making decisions instead of goal-oriented logic. According to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, our emotions are the determining factor in 95% of our decisions.
Therefore, we usually feel and act instead of “thinking and acting”. Part of Damasio’s research was on people whose brains were unable to experience emotions due to injury. Even though they could list the pros and cons of each option, they could not make a decision. Damasio’s research led to the belief that humans are ” artificial intelligence that have emotions,” but “emotional machines that think.” Once you understand how much your emotions dominate your choices, you can apply the five-second rule. Instead of letting your fears and anxieties get in the way of your dreams, control yourself and spend five seconds making decisions that bring you closer to your goals. This principle is called “psychological intervention”, which dates back to Aristotle. Aristotle summed up the principle: “Do good and be good.” In other words, you need to change your behavior before you can change how you feel about yourself. The reason the five-second rule is useful is that it focuses on doing so. This law changes your behavior and gives you the courage to overcome the psychological barriers that stand in your way.
The five-second rule is a weapon for hand-to-hand combat
There is a contradiction in modern technology such as smartphones and tablets. These tools are designed to make us more productive and efficient. However, in most cases, they distract us and make us wait longer than ever to make decisions. In destructive handshakes, we know that delaying a task causes harm to ourselves, but we still can not decide. In the past, experts thought that such an action was the result of mismanagement of time, lack of willpower or lack of individual discipline. But they now realize that getting rid of side effects is rooted in the wrong way we deal with our stress.
Timothy Pichel, a professor of psychology at Carleton University, believes that manipulating is the result of our subconscious desire to satisfy desires immediately. Since, handshake provides immediate relief from stress, we are always drawn to it. The stress we desire to get rid of is not limited to just getting things done on time. Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. In fact, taking a break from life to purchase a new pair of shoes is a way to reduce the stress, even for a limited time. Use the five-second rule to overcome the temptation to shake hands and let it become your new, healthier habit. As Dr. Pichel says, the best way to get any job done is to start over. So you have to apply the five-second rule as soon as you feel the urge to reach out or do something else. This way, your control center will improve quickly.
Change the direction of your emotions
Usually we all come across such phrases in our childhood: “Be careful”, “Do not rush” and…. Our worries grew with us and gradually reached a point where we could no longer control them. The interesting thing is that when that concern passes by us without making a real impact on our lives, we just regret why we were so stressed about it and poisoned our lives. Dr. Carl Pilmer, a professor at Cornell University, spoke to 1,200 senior citizens about the meaning of life over a 10-year period.
What all these people had in common was that they thought they had spent a lot of their lives worrying about nothing. Believe me, life is far more valuable than being spent in fear and worry. Pay attention to your mood, and when you feel your mind has given in to worry, take five seconds to start counting down to five. As soon as you get to number one, ask yourself these two questions: “What do I feel grateful for right now?” And “What do I want to remember?” Answering these questions will help you to divert your attention from worry and think about happier and more positive aspects of life. Remember, there are always things you can be thankful for that are far more important than the things you worry about.
What was the author’s main message in The Five Second Rule book?
Nothing is immutable. Habits, mindsets, and personality traits are flexible and changeable. If you understand this, your life will gradually change for the better. Use the five-second rule to help simplify this change. This small step can change your definition of yourself, your feelings, and what you do in life by changing the way you make decisions.
